STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
