he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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