so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
