If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize