Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
