Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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