I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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