They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
