she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
