i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
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I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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