i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
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