Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
did you just send me my own nude
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Randomize
