true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
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