I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
