I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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