Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
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