Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
