can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
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