GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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