And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
