she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
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I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
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Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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