hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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