I'm really into asian looking animals
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
My hand turned me down
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
