So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
