Having a random hookup so left but love u
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize