We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
