Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
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