Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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