Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
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