I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
