My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
