he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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