Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Don't make out with my wife yet
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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