conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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