ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
