I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
