threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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