Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
id be glad to
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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