i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
