I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
