quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
