How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
