I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
only you would photoshop your dick
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Randomize
