my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
