It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
