I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize