Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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