i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
