well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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