she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
