didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
