just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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