I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Randomize
