you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
