i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
