So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
