so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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