Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
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